Yesterday I had an interesting discussion about dating with a coworker whom I haven't seen in some time. After the expected "how are you?" questions, she came right out and asked me if I am dating anyone yet. This is the second time in as many days that I've been asked outright about my love life. It makes me wonder if something about me screams "LONELY" when I come into a room. It's funny how single women of marriagable age are always lauded for our independence in public but privately prodded to "get out there". I wish I could downplay the bad side of single life - say that it's great to be able to do whatever I want. But the truth is, that I do want to find my Mr. Big and I would trade the independent lifestyle I'm accustomed to if he came around. I'm proud that I can rewire lighting, lay a tile floor, mow my own lawn, and pay my bills on time. Are guys intimidated by this? That's another discussion...
Back to my coworker though...she encouraged me to try online dating. Of course she wouldn't be the first to suggest it to me. I don't find anything wrong with it either. To me, I feel I portray a facade of composure online that I can't possibly pull off in person. I wouldn't want to give a guy the impression that I'm more pulled together than I actually am. I applaud those women, like my coworker, who have found success in online dating. It's just not for me.
I do appreciate friends and coworkers asking about my love life. Relationships are a big part of our lives so it's natural that people want to know the status of mine when we run into each other from time to time. But wouldn't it be nice if people also acknowledged the other aspects of what makes me, me? How come dating, sex, and romance are appropriate topics of conversation but my relationship with God, my work, or my role in the community are not? When was the last time an aquantance asked you how your spiritual walk is coming along? Wouldn't that be a better way of getting closer to someone than asking who they're dating?
When you next run into a single friend, try starting a conversation about something new. Ask something that lets that person know that they are not a person in need of "fixing" just because she or he isn't married. I would thank you for it.
